I wish I was omnipresent
Just had a phone conversation with my parents. Mum was asking whether I’m coming home for Christmas and I can’t even give her an answer. Three things on my mind: UROPS, Music min. meeting on the 26th, ML’s 21st birthday celebration which I have no idea when as she hasn’t told me yet!!! I feel like just staying at East Timor and forgetting about these 2 places where I’m always always torn in between. Sighhhh… Sometimes, I wish I had no feelings and connections or ties. Am I turning into a workaholic who doesn’t care about her family or friends? Must I really be by your side for you to know that i care for you? And if I’m not,would you know inside out that I really want to be with you all? And if you think i’m selfish for not spending enough time, do you not know that you in turn might be the selfish one for not allowing me to accomplish what I cannot do if I always run back?
Anyways, the logical thing is to go back for 2 days which is the 24th and 25th and rush back on the 26th which means that i can start going back to the lab and then go for the dinner at night. Then again, my prof told me today that he was going to take leave at the end of the month which means just stay home or be back at lab? I don’t know..not that he’s around in the lab anyway and I’m actually learning from the people who are working there. Soooo…technically, I should come back to learn more and arm myself with lab technique skills before my project actaully starts.
Sorry if i sound jibberishy and possibly offensive. But i guess that’s how we foreigners feel. Remembered what Pacey told me when he broke the news on going to NOC (NUS Overseas College). He said that his parents would be more than happy to chase him out of home anytime. What is here for you anyway they say. They have high hopes for him he said.
I guess if you want me to fly, you have to let go of me.
And if I have my own wings to fly, I can fly anywhere i want…including back to you.
Would you still love me then? Please say you would…
