deep within

To those who came, thank you for making this day a blast! To those who wanted to come, but could not, thank you for being there for me :) your presence stays with me in my heart of hearts.

So how was commencement for me? I sum it all up with this…

Commencement : the end of one chapter for the beginning of the next

Chapter 1 - The making of me
Chapter 2 - From baby to pre-schooler
Chapter 3 - Kindergarten years
Chapter 4 - Primary School
Chapter 5 - Secondary School
Chapter 6 - College
Chapter 7 - University
Chapter 8 - The working world
Chapter 9 - The love of my life?
Chapter 10 - New family?
Chapter 11 - Time to change tires (get it?)

For the first time in my life, I am at a daze at how my next chapter would be like. Some say well, you just go out there and find a job lor. Others say, just relax mannn…you would be working all your life anyway. Surely, I would be able to see work as beyond work itself? Surely, I can discover joy in my future vocation? Surely, there is a ’surely’? If I were to work ALL my life, I have to do something I can find meaning in…something where my passion and joy lie…something which I won’t be doing only for the sake of doing. Again and again, i ask these questions…seeking for answers, looking at those who are already writing this chapter in their lives….but only to be discouraged more than i am encouraged. Well, maybe the ‘world’ that revolves around me is small…maybe there are many out there with the definition of work as love.

and i remember Adrian Pang (host of the Sgpore version of ‘Deal or No Deal’ ) saying, ‘that is why, I LOVE my job.’ Would i get the same joy if i were to face 50 male models? hahaha, guess not. Although, i might be temporarily happy for two days or so *oops*

What is this that I want to attain so badly in my future work? i know that it is definitely not looking at handsome hunks every week (:P) so, what could it be? must I really need to go through an elimination system to find out? Is there a ’surely’?

One said, ‘many ask God to give them something they would love to do, but not many ask for what He wants to do in their lives…’. maybe, just maybe, ’surely’ does not have ‘me’ together with it. From Ecclesiastes (written by Solomon), ‘Anything I wanted, I took, and did not restrain myself from any joy. I even found great pleasure in hard work. This pleasure was, indeed, my only reward for all my labours. But as I looked at everything I had tried, it was all so useless, a chasing of the wind, and there was nothing really worthwhile anywhere.’

‘So now I hate life because it is all so irrational; all is foolishness, chasing the wind, And I am disgusted about this, that I must leave the fruits of all my hard work to others. And who can tell whether my son will be a wise man or a fool?And yet all I have will be given to him - how discouraging!…So what does a man get for all his hard work? Days full of sorrow and grief, and restless, bitter nights. It is all utterly ridiculous.’

To find meaning in an utterly ridiculous endeavour is quite impossible. To find joy in something useless does not make me very happy either.

This statement of ‘Surely I can be happy if I do what I like for myself’ does not appeal to me anymore.

Colossians 1:16 ‘ Christ Himself is the Creator who made everything in heaven and earth, the things we can see and the things we can’t; the spirit world with its kings and kingdoms, its rulers and authorities: all were made by Christ for his own use and glory.’

And He asks me to love Him with all of my heart, my soul, and my mind; and to love my neighbour as much as i love myself.

How would this be applicable to my work then? I guess the most visible clue is that through my job, I can be a blessing to people!

Pictures would be uploaded soon!